Lindsay Lohan turns down $700,000 offer from Playboy

Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page spread for Playboy. She doesn't want to do the whole nude thing again because, clearly, she's a terrorist. Someone had to say it. Page Six reports:
ndsay lohan

Lindsay_lohan_shopping

    "If there's nudity, then the answer's no . . . She's not going down the [New York] magazine road again," Lohan's rep told Playboy's creative consultant, Hal Lifson, referring to Lindsay's naked Marilyn Monroe tribute last winter. Lifson said he hoped to have Lohan do a tribute to '60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film "Kitten With a Whip."

I guess Lindsay is content with her freckle-laded Marilyn Monroe shoot and doesn't want to look, I dunno, awesome and airbrushed. Why do you hate erections so much, Lindsay Lohan?! Oh, right, you're a "lesbian" now. Ha ha ha! But, seriously, why do you hate them?